39 weeks & 1 day

Nothing much new to report. Well, not really anyway.

I was up last night with regular period pains, without tightening (some with). They all lasted 40 seconds and came about every 20 mins. I thought; “Is this the early sign of labour!?”.
Well, I decided that if it was, being 4am, I should probably get as much sleep as I could. When I woke up I had no pains… so I guess it was just another session of those week 39 aches and pains. Ah, pregnancy, how I detest thee!

Weird things happened to my blood sugar yesterday. Mangoes were on special for $2 each, and being that it was 39 degrees C yesterday, I couldn’t resist, despite the fact I had no idea how much sugar was in a regular mango.
I waited till my sugar readings were about 4.1, then I ate the mango. I went to church, came home and 2.5 hours after eating I tested my sugars. I was 4.1 still, so I told Brentyn to hold off cooking dinner for 2 hours and I would have some weet-bix to tide me over untill then. I ate my regular weet-bix.
Late on, my loving, gorgeous star of a hubby made dinner. Two chops, steamed veggies and his *perfect* roast potatoes, *drool*. I went to test my sugars and… wait… what?! 7.3? I kept saying “Wait noooo! Dinner is ready! It looks so good!” I was so sad. Not only was my reading insanely high for me, but just before dinner! I always like to be under 5.5 before I eat. 2 Hours after I have eaten I need to be under 7. If I’m between 7 and 5.5 I wait for my levels to go down before I eat anything with carbs.

This was different though, my hubby just made me a diabetic feast and I was so fed up I just ate it. I said, damn the test – I want my dinner! :( Here’s the weird thing though, I did my test 2 hours after eating again and my sugars were 4.2! How does that work?
I really don’t understand how my body takes on sugars. It makes no sense. Some days it acts like it doesn’t have diabetes, others I feel like I should be in hospital, lol.

I crashed into Justine from birth class, whom I went to high school with many moons ago – at church last night. She’s due one day later than me and, just like me, is so very over being pregnant too. It’s good to know you’re not alone! I empathised with her hand on her hip and the slight waddle in her step, I could feel the pressure of our bub on me and I thought, man, everyone must get like this towards the end. It really sucks. But at least I know the baby is getting ready. It’s very very low on my cervix, I haven’t been tested but boy can I tell.

I am excited (in a strange way) about tomorrow. It’s my midwives appointment, possibly my last. Now, I know it’s pot-luck which midwife I get, and their opinions on my condition at the moment… but I’m hoping to get someone who is empathetic and professional this time. Not in a rush, not a know-it-all and certainly not someone who refuses to read my file then calls me low-risk. That particular midwife really upset me.

According to the general consensus, I should be induced  before I reach 40 weeks gestation. At my last appointment I was told that when I come in to my 39 week appointment, if I hadn’t already gone into labour naturally, I would meet with a doctor to book an induction time. However, the curse of that one irritating midwife I got once, creeps over me. She said I would be induce after 41 weeks  just like every “other” low-risk patient. I was told by the sonographer that the baby would be too large to deliver naturally after 40 weeks, and I seriously believe her now with the way my uterus feels absolutly stretched to capacity, it’s insane.

I have to be honest, if they don’t induce me before 40 weeks, I will be scared. Scared for my health, scared for the babies welfare, and scared of an emergency caesarean that could have easily been avoided otherwise. What would be my ultimate dream outcome of the appointment? If they said “We will induce you, and before we do, we will have an ultrasound to make sure baby is the right position and the correct weight for a vaginal delivery”.

Of course, that would never happen. One can dream though.

In all reality I’m expecting to go in, do a urine test, have them feel my tummy, brush off my questions, and rush me out the door saying “Call us when contractions are five mins apart – NEXT!”. *sighs* I seriously wish some of the midwives would read my files thoroughly. The one I got for my 37 week pre-admission appointment was AWESOME. If I got her again, I’d be so happy. She was patient, friendly and had actually read my file. She also asked if I had any more questions like 3 times before I left.

Well, I guess a prayer or two is in order. Hopefully everything will work out and I will have a non-stupidly long labour, that doesn’t end in a caesarean. An epidural that actually works would be delightful too, but maybe I’d be pushing my luck on that.

If I do need a c-section, I will be kind of screwed. Brentyn can only get 3 or so days off, and since I’m in hospital for 3 days… he won’t be home for those first days with baby :( This makes me *so* insanely disappointed! While I know mum will surely come around to help, I feel uncomfortable sitting around doing nothing when I have guests. It’s different with Brentyn… he’s always here so I don’t feel like I need to “entertain” as it were.
That being said, I will ask for help anywhere I can get it, it would be wonderful. But I just can’t help but feel like leaving me alone with the baby after major abdominal surgery and what will probably be a HUGE line of guests knocking at my door wanting to meet the new baby – will be exasperating. Especially when the house is still cluttered and messy. I try to clean it but anything that is left are heavy boxes and furniture, which I can’t move if I wanted too. Brentyn says he’ll do it – but he forgets. Hmmm.

The next couple of weeks are going to be so intense on my emotional stability, I can just sense it. I am a prime candidate for postpartum depression.